Random Boner Prevention Device
Buddy: (walking towards
Main: Yeah, they’re sweet but I still don’t feel comfortable wearing sweatpants in public. Aren’t YOU worried about getting an RB?
Buddy: RB?
Main: You know, RB, Random Boners: the one’s that pop out of nowhere. And this soft material isn’t gonna hold anything down. So embarrassing.
Buddy: Oh Yeah, they always happen at the worst times.
(main and buddy do pondering motions)
[lights off us]
[lights on 1st boner scene on Stage R]
Sister: Hey, grandma’s coming over for supper
Brother: Yay! (gets boner, accompanied by slide whistle)
[lights off]
[lights on 2nd boner scene on Stage R]
Babysitter Requester: Can you babysit my daughter tonight? She’s five.
Babysitter Boner: I would love to. (gets boner, accompanied by slide whistle)
[lights off]
[lights on 3rd boner scene on Stage R]
Lifeguard: (blows whistle) Everybody out of the pool!
Pool Boner Guy: (looks down at boner) Oh shit. (hangs head and walks out Stage R) [lights off]
[lights back on
Buddy: Oh god! I totally forgot.
[salesman walks in Stage L]
Salesman: Sorry to interrupt but I think I have a solution.
Main: What are you talking about?
Salesman: It’s a Random Boner Management Device. It’s good for RB’s, Random boners AND HGIB’s, Hot Girl Induced Boners.
Buddy: So how does it work?
Salesman: Well, how about I just demonstrate it on one of you guys.
Main: (looks at Buddy and then to Salesman) Sure.
Salesman: First, your penis goes into the penis holder. (sales man puts on penis holder but does not remove hands from
Main: That makes sense.
Salesman: OK. Let’s test it out. GIRLS! Phase 1.
[2 Hot girls walk on Stage R]
GIRLS: Hello big boy (waves to
Salesman: So, is it working so far?
Main: (head slightly tilted back) Yes, but my neck is getting a little bit sore.
Salesman: Yes, it will do that. Alright. GIRLS! Phase 2.
[First part of song “Satisfaction” turns on]
(2 hot Girls strip)
[Music off]
Salesman: What about now?
Main: (head tilted back a lot) This is great! I don’t think I have a boner! Now no one will stare at me like I’m a freak.
Salesman: Ok, then. Final test. GIRLS! Phase 3.
[Lights off
[Rest of girls enter stage R, Lights on Girls, Main part of song “Satisfaction” Starts]
(Girls perform choreographed dance routine)
[Girls pull
(Girls dance around
[Music simultaneously, GIRLS walk off stage R]
(
Buddy: Oh my god, I think it broke his neck.
Salesman: Yeah, but no boner (points at mains groin area)
[Scene out]
1 comment:
You didn't me that you changed majors from medical to theatre! Love Mom
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